Wednesday, February 1, 2012

This Swimsuit for My Little Girl? I Think Not!

I got a PR pitch via email on Friday.  When I saw the title, I thought, "Great! A way to try out a new bathing suit line for our daughter and pitch a new product to my readers!"  Then I opened up the email and was FLOORED.

At first I was outraged.  Do people dress their little girls like this?

Then I was saddened when I realized that yes...some people do.  And those little girls grow up thinking that it's okay.

I personally am not a fan of bikinis for little girls.  Tankinis?  Yes. Our Abigail last year LOVED her ruffled bloomer bottoms and 3/4-length surfer top suit.  I know that some little girls don't fit into one-piece suits well (because they are tall and skinny).  I know two piece suits work better when potty training - and for using the potty altogether for little ones (and big ones!).  Tankinis and surfer style suits are perfect for these occasions. But not a fan of the bikini for little tots.

Even if I were okay with it though, I can't imagine that I'd be okay with these suits by AquaMarina.

In fact, I almost didn't post the images on this blog - that's how uncomfortable they make me. But then I decided for the sake of letting you know what is out there chasing after our girls, I decided to do so.

This is the email I sent back to the PR company:

[PR Rep's name withheld] -
First I want to thank you for contacting me for a PR pitch for my blog.  I look forward to trying out new products for my readers and sometimes offering them the chance to win some of their own.
I have worked with [company name withheld] in the past with no issues.
However, this pitch has me completely dumbfounded.
These suits are atrocious. I have a 2 year old daughter and a 6 year old son and I am floored that swimsuits like this exist for little tots. They are far too adult, far too sexy, far too revealing. And these little girl's poses are nauseating as well.  It makes me feel dirty just looking at them.
Although I would like to continue to receive more PR pitches from various companies, including [company name withheld], please do not send me any other offers that are not family-friendly. 
As far as this pitch in particular, not only am I not interested, but I will be using it as an example on my blog as to what is stalking our little princesses in this world.  No, I will not be using [company name withheld]'s name in the post, but I ask that you strongly reconsider doing business with companies that would subject little girls to this type of advertising and attention.
I will go home tonight and hug my little girl just a little tighter and pray for her protection in a world that offers options like this for little children.

Kaye T.

What in the world do you make of this? Am I a total prude or does anyone else have a problem with this?


  1. Hmm yeah I wouldn't feel real comfortable with that either. Good for you, taking a stand!

  2. Oh there is no question about it. I totally agree with you. This is NOT appropriate. In fact, I don't think any woman should really be wearing a bikini - that's just my opinion - let alone a kid or even a teenagers. Teenagers are especially asking for it by wearing something like that, with the way boys' hormones are raging by then.

    I totally agree with you. It's sad that this has become acceptable at such a young age.

  3. I completely agree with this. In fact, I'm at work and had to scroll by those pictures really fast because they seem NSFW to me! Even though there's technically nothing wrong with them.

    I'm definitely not opposed to bikinis - that's all I use but I am definitely opposed to young girls wearing them. I think maybe around 14 it starts being okay, but not before that - and really, I guess it just depends on the girl's body.

    Anyway, good job taking a stand against this kind of thing.

    1. i agree with you little girls dont need to wear such things. even at 14 they like to show more then they should because they like they close that are way to skimpy personally once you get 18 if you wont to dress trashy then what ever. not to say bikinis are bad but they should at least fit your age

  4. You're not over-reacting in the slightest. I've even seen PADDED tops for girls that age. DISGUSTING!

  5. @Kyle - I do that at work on this (MY OWN!) post as well! I just don't want to look at them!

  6. I agree with you. I would be interested to hear how they respond to your letter.

  7. @Hifam - I doubt I'll get a response, but if I do, I'll do a follow up post!

  8. As a elementary teacher I can tell you that we do see people dressing their young children provocatively... thank goodness it's not often, but it does happen. A few years back I had a kindergartener who was sent to school in a off-the shoulder tank top... you know, the kind that droops down over the shoulders - almost like a tube top, but not as tight. I sent her right up to the office and they sent her home for a change of clothing. We have a strict rule of no spaghetti straps, tube tops, etc. It's crazy that we have to even have a rule, but I really don't think these should even be made in children's sizes, but they are. Good for you for letting the clothing company know how you felt.

  9. Wow! That is sooo wrong! And it's sad that there are parents that will actually buy this for their young girls.

  10. There is literally nothing sexual about this at all. The problem is with people like you who see a young girl with exposed shoulders and midriff, and sexualize that image in their mind. What's "atrocious" is that you find the normal anatomy of a young girl too sexy. And the poses are nauseating? Because she is smiling with a hand on her hip? The comments in support of this bullshit are just as disgusting. According to Jan Messali, a shirt that shows a girl's shoulders is "dressing young children provocatively." SHOULDERS! There is nothing inherently provocative about this body part unless YOU choose to sexualize the shoulders of a kindergartener. And according to Tara Oliver, "Teenagers are especially asking for it by wearing something like that, with the way boys' hormones are raging by then." This is a blatant and unacceptable example of our misogynist culture. NOBODY is asking it. Boys should be held responsible for their actions just like everybody else. This only teaches young girls that they are to blame for the thoughts and actions of males, that they are responsible for it and the should feel guilty for it. It's ludicrous and harmful.

    1. i agree ppl just overreact to things when they are parents. they let them watch tv all day listen to whores like katy perry or others and then they cry bout clothing is to sexy for their kids. make sense

    2. Aimy - it is obvious by your comment that you are not a parent, so I don't expect you to necessarily understand. At a younger age, I probably thought nothing of it either. But becoming a parent makes you see things in a different light. It doesn't come from selfishness or some crazy mom hormone that is triggered upon the birth of a child. It is about loving someone more than you ever thought possible - more than you've ever felt for anyone; more completely; more wholly; more selflessly; more unconditionally. I want to protect and shield my children as long as is healthy. The world is an ugly place and they will find it out one day. There is no reason to introduce them to it earlier than necessary. There is no reason to rob them of their innocence. As a parent, I feel it is my duty to protect my daughter (and son) from people who do not love them as much as I do and could potentially hurt them - physically, emotionally, psychologically.

      If you knew me, you would know that my children do not watch tv all day and what they do watch is only that which is age appropriate. They don't listen to "whores like katy perry." What you are doing is ridiculous to imply that I (or other parents that you don't know) do.

      I hope when you get old enough to have children that you have their best interest at heart and love them with a love that is wholesome. Until then, stop reading mom blogs that you cannot relate to. There is no reason to stop in and read this blog just to make rude comments filled with poor spelling and punctuation. You are welcome to comment all you want, but know that your arguments and rude comments will not go unnoticed or unchallenged.

  11. @Lauren -
    Thank you for your comment. It was surprising to see, as it is quite an old post, so I'd love to know how you came across this post.

    I am not a prude in any way (I know you didn't call me that and don't mean to imply you did), but I am a firm believer in modesty. I think a girl should be proud of the way God made her, but that doesn't mean I feel she should show most of it off to everything in the general vicinity (regardless of age). I do feel these suits are provocative and what pains me is while they are not inappropriate for the body parts that these little girls have, it will be inappropriate (in my opinion) for them when they start developing those body parts, and with this type of introduction to immodesty, I'm afraid they won't have any reason to know there are barriers.

    I don't feel that anyone is asking for any actions that anyone takes against them and although I am pretty sure that is not what Tara was implying, I cannot speak for her, so I will not attempt to honestly do so.

    I think human anatomy IS normal but I don't think it is meant to share with the general public. It's the reason I wouldn't dare take my children to a nude beach (nor would I go to one) - I don't think this is something we share with everyone. Introducing girls to outfits - including bathing suits - like these goes against this belief of mine.

    And I'd really like to keep my daughter's anatomy out of plain site of those who do pervert and oversexualize little girls' bodies.

  12. its just sad the world now days thinks its ok to dress little girls up like neasty girls the town i live in has more girls dressing that way then ever. what is wrong with the parents now days my daughter hates me when i tell her that she cant wear thing just beacause the other girls do that dont mean you need to is what i tell her.

  13. Mr. Nespy, I have to say that I agree with Lauren. What exactly is it that you see in these photos that makes you think S*X?! And what makes you think that your discovery of sexual stimulation (or feeling dirty as you say) means that the kids see it that way?

    My husband and I have no qualms about delaying sexualization of kids, but we certainly don't see your objections to these swimsuits nor even in the poses. They are not provocative in the least.

    If you are thinking "It's not the perception of kids that are worrisome, but rather the perception of some adult men, we are still missing your point. Do you believe that you can control or suppress the mental stimulation of adults attracted to children? You most certainly cannot. People will fantasize about a door knob, if that's what turns them on.

    The way you talk about the children in these photos, I honestly think that you are creating sexual imagery in your own mind. In fact, that's OK, but clearly, it bothers you because you see something "dirty".

    Yes, these photos can be perceived as sexual, but please get it straight that this perception is in the eye of the beholder. Accept that you find something sensual in the photos and then move on.

    1. It's Mrs Nespy. Not that it is a huge deal, but just to clarify, you are speaking to the mom and not the dad in this instance.

      You are welcome to your own opinion and you are welcome to dress your children as you wish. I choose to dress my daughter in swimsuits that reveal less skin than this.

      And on a side note - the skimpier suits and more provocative poses are NOT featured in this post.

      I'm not sure if you are implying that I am somehow personally sexualizing this little girl in my mind by my last paragraph. I am trying to remember that this is the internet and I cannot tell your intent with your last paragraph, so I will move while trying not to make assumption. I will tell you what I DO see though....

      What I do see is presenting these as options for my daughter to wear. When she hits puberty and acquires anatomy that she currently does not have, I do not plan to allow her to wear swimsuits similar to these because of the lack of modesty that will show. Because of this, I cannot fathom letting her wear them now. At what point would it be appropriate to shut down this type of swimsuit as an option and how would that explanation go? "It was okay to be immodest before you had breasts, but now that you need a bra, these swimsuits are out of line." That doesn't make sense to me.

      Frankly, I am not worried about someone fantasizing or being turned on by a doorknob. If images of my doorknob end up on someone's camera, computer, or in their mind, I won't be the least bit offended. I have not been entrusted to bring up and care for and protect that doorknob by God. I HAVE, however, been given a precious little girl to protect from people who have terrible dreams and intentions that I cannot begin to imagine. I have been charged with raising her to present herself in a respectful manner and one that is honorable to her God and her future husband. I have been given the task of raising her to respect herself and demand that others (including boys her own age) treat her with respect as well. These things are not of my concern with my doorknob (or any other ridiculous comparison you might make).

      And while I understand that there are some twisted minds out there that could use ANYTHING to stimulate their imaginations, I don't plan in readily offering my children as fodder for their perverse thoughts.

      My children are amazing and sweet and innocent and frankly, I don't want that innocence shattered earlier than it has to be. So for now, I will dress her as modestly as I choose. And if I feel the urge to blog about it (3 years ago), I will do so. If you'd like to dress your daughter this way, feel free. You can blog about that.

  14. A friend of mine asked me to look for a good source of 2 pc swimsuits because her little girl is tall for her age, so 1 pc suits get stretched a bit too much or are too baggy if long enough to not have to stretch. I was looking for a source of good, modest, 2 pc suits and came across this.

    This will cause replies, but I don't care because I won't be checking for them anyway. I just need to let some of you know that Mrs. Nepsy is right. These suits are way too flaunting for a little girl, and their advertising is even worse. The 3rd photo is fine, a happy little girl wearing a "too skimpy" suit, but the first 2.....
    Those poses are what models do when trying to sell sexy clothing. The hand on the hip with the head bowed like that is intended to be sexy. I used to be a photographer. I'm also male. I would never let my little girls wear a suit like that, and would never let a photographer take pictures like that wearing anything.

    There are (where) photos worse than those? Guaranteed they have been found by pedophiles and have been circulated. I pity the families of those child models.



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