How My Inattentiveness Cost Us $400

Photo credit: bodgie

Two weeks ago Chip was out of town for two days on orders from the National Guard.  So I had to drive Patrick to school (Chip normally does it).  Wednesday went off without a hitch. We got to school on time, sat in the carpool line for just a little bit, and got to work in a timely manner.  The afternoon - once again - went great.

Thursday we got to school alright and had no problems with the drop off. As I was leaving, I prepared to turn off the road that his school is on to make a left onto a busier highway. This was a frustrating task, as the person who sat opposite me in the intersection (who was going straight - both by his lack of blinkers and in reality), sat and wanted me to turn left in front of him, like I had the right of way. Of course I didn't, but I was needing to get on my way to work, and other drivers' stupidity is one of my pet peeves (because you know, we all drive better than everyone else - myself included). After I finally waved like a crazed lunatic enough to indicate to this person that he, in fact, needed to go first before I could go, he finally proceeded forward and made it through the intersection so I could make my left turn. I was frustrated and probably whipped my car around faster than I would have normally. My mind was on the idiot and his lack of driving skills and knowledge as to the rules of right-of-way. A few hundred yards down the road I see them standing on the side of the road throwing their arms in the air and flagging me down.

Cops. Both on foot on the side of the road.  One with a radar gun in hand.

This was not good.

I look at my speedometer immediately and see I'm traveling just over 40 mph, well below the posted 45 mph.

But obediently I pulled over.

What I didn't realize?

I was still in the school zone.  And it was school zone time.

It wasn't the school zone for my son's school, which is about 2 miles down the road I had turned off of.  This is another school that is located some unknown (to me) distance down the other side of the intersection where the idiot other driver had been coming from. 

Posted for school hours was 25 mph and I was clocked at 41mph.

The officer asked if I wasn't aware of the school zones and I told him that no, I was not because I typically did not make this drive in the morning. He left with my license and I hoped for the best, although I was certain I wouldn't get it because it was a school zone.

And I was right.  I was now the owner of a speeding ticket - my first in about 7 years.

It's amazing the amount of guilt and remorse that ticket brought about. I was convicted of not only speeding, but being so inattentive that I didn't know the posted speed limit accurately. And in a school zone, no less.

Well, last Thursday was payday and since this check was not going to our mortgage this month I signed on to see how much my ticket was going to be.  I knew it'd probably be bad because it was a school zone.  I kept repeating this to myself to prepare myself for what I was to find.

$367.60. Plus $29.00 to pay it online.  For a total of $396.60.

That was my punishment for being rash, inattentive, and flustered.

No, I'm not angry.  I deserved the penalty. I was speeding. I was unaware of the school zone. Were they speed trapping me?  Absolutely - but I was speeding, so I have no reason to be mad at them.

I'm frustrated with myself though. Although we did have the money to pay it (thank goodness), that's $400 that I cannot use to pay down my debt. That's a probability that my insurance could go up.

I hate stupid decisions/mistakes. I hate how stupid I feel for making them.

But the fine is paid now. Time to go send everything ELSE to my credit card.

It Will Be A Good Three Months for Debt Reduction Around Here

Photo credit: SailorJohn

I have been the most terrible blog host this week. Barely speaking with you, my faithful friends. I've just had a lot on my mind. At work. At home. In my sleep. But I felt I could at least tell you what is going on around here and I decided to brag about what the next two months SHOULD look like around here for our debt reduction plan.

This past month was great.  Scratch that.  It was really, really good.  But it could have been better.  You'll see how in a couple of weeks when I do my financial update/disclosure post.  We have spent far too much money on food - mainly on eating out - this month. It's our downfall. A true weakness. And you would think that knowing this, we'd try to make more of an effort in this area. This month, we have just thrown all caution to the wind and eaten out far too much.

So although we sent OVER $3500 TO OUR CHASE CARD this month (WOO HOO!), that victory is still slightly clouded by the fact that it probably could have been closer to $4K had we been more careful with our eating habits.

Sigh.

However, another good point to make - Chip was on orders for the National Guard two extra days this month.  We won't make any money in as take home pay seeing that we had to pay a babysitter those days which we were both at work, but it will automatically withdraw the extra amount to apply to our Army loan.  That should knock it down about another $200.  I'll take all I can get!

Additionally, we closed on our mortgage refinance.  So we have taken on slightly more debt (since there were closing costs that got rolled into the mortgage, our mortgage principle is now higher than it was last week), but at a lower rate. And it will take us about 18 months to save enough to pay for the closing costs.  Not too bad.

Why am I telling you this again?  Well, because of the refi, we will skip April's mortgage payment and that amount we previously were paying toward our mortgage ($1615) will go to our Chase card as well.  Booyah!  Another blow for the debt in April!

And lastly, we will once again have a mortgage payment.  We will also have the addition $250 that we are saving due to the refinance to send to Chase on top of our normal payment. What else will we have in May?  A three paycheck month which means another chunk (maybe $1800-$2000) to Chase. 

That's over $7000 to Chase in three months!  It should be down to right around a $5000 balance then. 

The original balance of this credit card was over $17,000.  That hurts to say, but it was.  And now, we are moving full speed ahead and I am LOVING it!  Soon we will be done with this card altogether!

Taking Advantage of Lower Mortgage Rates

Photo credit: danzo08 (loved this toy!)

Five years ago this June we purchased a new home in Savannah, GA. We had just moved to town and at the height of the real estate boom, locked in a decent mortgage rate of 6.25%.

Fast forward through the economic downfall and the real estate crash.

In January 2010, we refinanced our mortgage at 5.0% in a fixed 30 year mortgage.  It made us so happy to save about $156/month. Yippee!  The closing costs were not that bad and we found that with that $156/month savings, we would recoup the closing costs in 19 months. Less than two years?  Yes...let's do it!

Guess what?  Mortgages are even LOWER now.

So guess what we did?

On Tuesday night, we closed on a refi at 3.875%.  That's going to save us another $180/month.  Closing costs?  We'll pay for them in 20 months.

So there is no plan to refinance again once we've made up the closing costs.  Otherwise that would be a terribly vicious cycle.  But honestly, based on the current laws, the mortgage rate can NOT get much lower for a fixed rate loan.  So we're very pleased to be locked in where we are.

Could we get a lower interest rate with an ARM (adjustable rate mortgage)?  Sure.  In fact, we played with that idea. But the problem has already been stated.  It can't get much lower. In fact, I'd personally be surprised if it stays this low much longer (although I'm certainly no expert).  We could also go with a shorter term loan and come out better.

But right now?  We're in a load of debt and the focus is keeping our expenses as low as possible so we can get rid of this debt!  Then we will boost our emergency fund.  THEN we will start doubling up on payments to our mortgage and knock it out.

Immediate future?

We'll skip the first month's payment (April) because that's what you do with a refinance. The money we save there will be sent to good old Chase Mastercard. Sure, we could knock time off the mortgage by doubling up on May's payment, but the goal again is debt depletion.

We will get back money from our escrow account.  What is that for?  It will be sent to our timeshare company to buy our way out. Yep - that's what we're going to have to do and frankly, it sucks, but we aren't willing to be stuck with more maintenance fees for a property we aren't using.  So we're buying out of it.

Still, we're making headway.  And hopefully in the next few years, we'll be living the dream because of it!

What about you?  Have you thought about refinancing lately?  What would you do with a skipped mortgage payment or a refund of your escrow account?

When Natural Consequences Just Aren't Enough Discipline

This could be a tricky post to write. But I'm going to give it a shot anyway.

There are a number of means and methodologies about disciplining children. Some people believe in corporeal punishment. Some people think it's child abuse. Some people believe in exclusively reasoning with a child. Others swear that's completely ineffective.

I don't think there is any one correct way to discipline children. I mean, personalities are so different and what works for one child may not work for another.

We only have two children and by far do not consider ourselves child-rearing experts no matter how awesome we think our kids are (and they are, by the way).  But even across our two offspring, we see two very different people and have learned that two very different types of punishment are required to be effective for our children.

Our older, more passive people-pleasing child just gets upset at the idea that you are mad or upset with him. A stern look is enough to put him in line and when things are really bad - time out. That's all he has ever required.

Our spitfire little princess who is strong willed, very opinionated, and not swayed by what anyone else wants or thinks requires a totally different form of punishment because you cannot make the child sit in time out short of tying her to the chair (which no, we do not do).

Our son's school however introduced us to the concept of Natural Consequences.  Let me rephrase that. They introduced us to the terminology "Natural Consequences" as a form of punishment. We already incorporated them into our strategy without realizing it was a whole concept of discipline.

The gist of it is this: let whatever could happen actually happen and let the child learn from their mistakes. (Exception of course: If it is a safety issue, take them away from the situation but give some form of discipline that matches the crime). For instance, if a child doesn't eat their dinner, they go hungry for the evening.  If they are playing with a toy incorrectly after being redirected, let them break it. If they are leaning back in their chairs, let them fall.

I have to say, it can be very effective.

But not always.

Here's the deal, at least in my eyes:  there are some areas where natural consequences are perfect.  If you tell them that they might pop a balloon they are playing with and they continue to do so, let them pop it and then be upset about it. If they draw on the walls with crayons, they should have to clean the walls off themselves. Those natural consequences work beautifully.

But they also need to know that there are times in life when the punishment may not be equal to the crime - it might be much, much worse.

As a small child, if they shoplift, they should not only not get to keep the items, but they should be mad to  return the items to the store with a full apology in person to the owner/manager. If they are older and shoplift, I think it is awesome when I've seen kids have to stand outside the store they stole from with a big sign indicating "I SHOPLIFTED FROM THIS STORE" or something similar. Shame can be a powerful teacher and deterrent.

If a child is continually running late, a natural consequence might be for them to miss the activity to which they were supposed to be getting ready. However, this may not be possible. It might be an event that the whole family is required to attend. It might not be effective. It might not be an event they wanted to go to in the first place and therefore, this would not be punishment for them. Instead, maybe they could use some of their precious free time to help you clean the house. Put them to work. Some sweat and hard work in a task that they see no value in will be torture to them. Will this be abusing your power as a parent?  Some people would think so, but not me. Nope - I get a semi-clean house out of it AND they are miserable as they "serve their time."

Here's the deal:  As an adult if either of the above scenarios happen, consequences much worse than the natural ones will occur and that former child needs to understand that they have to follow rules or be subject to the ruling authorities.  In the former case, a shoplifting adult goes to jail and/or pays a large fine. Much worse than being made to the return the items. In the latter, an adult who is continually late for work not only does not get paid for that day (natural consequence) but could easily get fired if it is a recurring problem for them, which is worse than not getting paid for that particular day.

My point is this - natural consequences do have a place in the discipline spectrum. But they should not be the driving force in all instances. I feel that children need to be made to listen to their authorities (parents, teachers, etc) and obey just because those are the rules. It's life. It's reality. And if they are not taught this at a young age, they will be challenging that authority time and time again as an adult. And those consequences can be severe.

Wrapping Paper Storage and Organization Solution

I work for a gift wrap manufacturer and therefore probably have more wrapping paper, ribbons, bows, tissue paper, gift tags, gift bags, and whatnot than most sane people.  As an employee I get a lot of free stuff as a perk, and even when my closet of supplies is full, it's hard to say no. My neighbors are fully stocked as well since I bring home more than I can handle.

My previous solution, and I regret that I don't have a photo of this for you, was to use our old vacuum cleaner box to store the rolls of paper and a cardboard box (let's say a 14 x 14 x 10) to store the tissue paper and ribbons and goodies.  The bags were stored in another larger bag. All of these were in the coat closet next to our stairs in the downstairs hallway.

I got tired of the chaos that would ensue each time a birthday party came up and I needed to dig through Christmas paper to find a juvenile boy gift bag. So I decided to organize.

My first attempt was to use some hooks and bungee cord and go vertical up the wall in the closet.  It was a good idea, but the rolls were too heavy and not stable in that set up. I tried to do it spending as little money as possible, but with that failed attempt, I was reminder that it is often cheaper to buy the right tools for the job in the first place! So I bit the bullet and paid just under $35 for this beautiful find at a home improvement store:



What is it? It's an adjustable pantry organizer. It comes with several deep and shallow shelves and some bracing rods (which was key for this project), and it mounts to either a wall or a door. It's over 6 feet tall, 17 inches wide and only 6 inches deep. It was perfect for the small closet and since it was only 6 inches deep, it didn't come out too far into the usable space of the closet.

So I went to work.  With a drill in hand, after about 30 minutes, I had this:

Please ignore the bags behind the organizer. That's my current gift stash and the next area to be organized.

You can see in the pictures that I used the shallow shelves to hold the gift wrap and the bracing rods several inches above to keep them upright. I then used the deeper shelves to store my ribbon, tissue paper, gift tags, and bows.

The "everyday" paper (aka - non Christmas paper) is stored on the bottom and the Christmas paper is up top. This was for two reasons. First of all, I'm more likely to access the everyday stuff most of the year, so it is easier to get to at the lower level. Also, as an industry insider, I know that this paper will always be 24" or 30" tall. The Christmas paper may be 24", 30", or 40". That extra height extends upward into my closet and doesn't affect the shelf height for the ribbon.






The Christmas paper is mounted so that the bottom of it is right eye-level for me. I can pull the rolls out from the bottom and put them back the same way.




So this set up is really working for me.  It keeps everything organized and easily accessible and it takes up vertical space that was not getting used otherwise!  Hooray! Now I have to figure out something similar to do with all of the gift bags!

Go visit We Are THAT Family and see what is working for everyone else too!  You just might get some brilliant ideas!

8 Activities for When You Can't Watch TV

Photo credit: Google images

So last week I heard a ridiculous commercial on the radio. It was this family talking about taking nature walks in a torrential downpour because hey – what else were they supposed to do since their satellite dish had lost a signal due to the storm.

It was laughable.  I know – they were just using a silly sales tactic, but it was absurd to think that there was nothing on earth that this family could do when it was raining and they didn’t have access to their regularly scheduled programming.

Here are 8 ideas of things to do rather than watch TV shows (regardless of the reason):

• Board Games:  If you don’t have any board games in your house – well, shame on you.  =)  Seriously though – it’s a great way to invest time together as a family and just have fun as a whole.  Make sure they are age appropriate of course, but there are tons of games for little ones on the shelves.  In fact, many of the ones for younger children are cheaper, so it shouldn’t be a big investment for a lot of fun. Even if they are too young to play, you can have your 3-year old count and move your Monopoly piece around the board for you or something similar to help involve them.
• Card Games:  If you can’t tell, I’m a game lover. Card games are great for all ages and more than just having fun, they can actually teach you things without it feeling like you are learning.  You can play Go Fish for number recognition. You can play Rummy or Gin Rummy for strategy.  You can teach various forms of solitaire for counting.  I’ll include in the card game category games like dominoes as well, where you can learn adding and counting in multiples of five.
• Build a fort:  Yep – out of couch cushions and sheets and tables and whatever you have handy.  Open up a world of imagination for your children – and join them inside if you dare. =)
• Read: You can take one of two approaches here.  Either read a book as a family.  If the little ones get bored, you can even have them act it out.  To encourage reading in your children who are literate, each family could also take time apart with their own favorite type of book.  Whether it is a classic novel, a newspaper, some silly teenage vampire romance (yes, I have read them too), a hobby magazine, or a comic book, reading is reading. And it’s all good for everyone.
• Crafts: You don’t have to be a domestic version of Hobby Lobby for this one. It’s amazing what types of crafts you can do with items you already have around your house. Just google “Crafts with Household Items” or something similar.  You’ll be amazed what you can create.  And don’t just leave it to the kids – join in for some real family time together.
• Movie: Just because you don’t have access to your TV programming doesn’t mean you can’t settle in for a family movie together.  Media is not all bad and it can truly create some great memories.  Pop some popcorn and watch something from your DVD collection. Maybe there are some oldies but goodies that you haven’t seen in a long time or that you’ve never shared with your children. Enjoy the time together!
• Video Games: Yes, mom. Those incessant video games. Sit down and play them with them. They will find your inability to conquer the Dragon King (totally just made that up – I think!) funny. You’ll get to see what it is they are doing all of that time. And you just might enjoy it! Even if they balk at the idea – they will remember that time that Mom couldn’t just over that giant chasm to save her life.
• Cleaning:  I know – this one sounds utterly mind numbing (unless you’re a clean freak like me).  Put a sock on the hands of the tots and send them around the baseboards.  Teach older little ones how to fold towels.  Let older ones vacuum the floors, clean the blinds, etc.  You never know – you just might get all of your spring cleaning tasks done without having to dread doing them.  Put it all to music so you can all dance around while doing it to make it a bit more enjoyable. Whatever works – just make the most of it!

 What are some other ideas of things you can do as a family if you suddenly find yourself not able to watch your favorite TV shows? 

Side note - it's really strange that my children have no idea what that image I used is all about! 

Donations to Charity by Our 2012 Presidential Candidates

Source: Maggies Notebook

Today is going to be a political post. Wait, wait, wait!  Before you click away...

I'm not going to be supporting or promoting any particular candidate. I have faith that you can make those types of decisions for yourselves. I mean, you are smart enough to be visiting my blog. =)

But here is the purpose of this post:  All of our 2012 Presidential candidates are offering to make our country better by helping people. Some back it with their faith, allowing the promises and tenets of their proclaimed belief system to carry some weight with voters. Others are approaching it from a humanitarian point of view - helping those who are down and out because it's just the right thing to do. I'm not here to argue with either of those points of view.

What I am here to do today is present to you how our Presidential hopefuls have spent their own personal money in the past. Have they been living the type of life that promises philanthropy, care, and concern for those less fortunate than they are...you know, before they were asking you to elect them?

Let's take a look:

Barack Obama:
Net Worth*:  $2.8 million - 11.8 million
2010 Income: $1,795,614
2010 Charitable Contributions: $245,075
Percentage of Giving**: 13.65%
Recipients of Donations: Fisher House Foundation which houses families of wounded military ($131,075 of his personal money), his Nobel Peace Prize award money was divided between 10 charities as listed: Fisher House Foundation ($250,000), Clinton-Bush Haiti Fund ($200,000), College Summit to increase college enrollment rates ($125,000), Posse Foundation for scholarships ($125,000), United Negro College Fund ($125,000), Hispanic Scholarship Fund ($125,000), American Indian College Fund ($125,000), Appalachian Leadership and Education Foundation ($125,000), AfriCare which promotes health, food security and access to water primarily in Africa ($100,000), Central Asia Institute, which education and literacy, especially for girls, in remote regions of Pakistan and Afghanistan ($100,000)
Of Note: The Obamas' giving has increased steadily over the last few years.  In the early 2000s, it grew from 0.4% to 4.6%.  With the Presidency, Obama's wallet has opened up to more and more giving opportunities. His Nobel Prize winnings of $1.4 million in 2010 were donated directly to 10 organizations and therefore never went though his income tax return as income or donations.

Mitt Romney
Net Worth*:  $190 million - $250 million
2010 Income: $21,661,344
2010 Charitable Contributions: $2,983,974
Percentage of Giving**: 13.78 (between 13% - 16% over last few years)
Recipients of Donations: The majority of this was contributed to the Mormon church, as it is a tenet of their faith to donate a full tithe (10%) in order to be in good standing with God and their church. Other recipients were BYU ($300,000 and $1 million at different times), a homeless shelter for veterans ($10,000), Hurricane Katrina victims ($10,000), victims of south Asia earthquake and tsunami ($25,000), Becket Fund for Religious Liberty ($25,000), as well as various donations to charities helping children, cancer patients, MS patients, and wounded veterans, research and service organizations for cystic fibrosis, cancer, epilepsy, Lou Gehrig's Disease and AIDS, The Boy Scouts of America, the Boston Scholars program for disadvantaged students and the Massachusetts Children's Trust Fund to prevent child abuse, The United Way, Massachusetts Family Institute ($10,000), Massachusetts Citizens for Life ($15,000), andRight to Play ($100,000 over several years). There were also donations that helped restore community baseball fields, teach sailing in Boston and support the U.S. Olympic handball team, U.S. Equestrian Team Foundation ($20,000), and the Boys & Girls Clubs of Boston ($30,000 over several years).
Of Note: The most generous of the candidates, Romney has spread his wealth out to assist with charities for health concerns, political interests, children's welfare, veterans support, sports interests, as well as victims of various disasters and hurts.

Newt Gingrich
Net Worth*:  $6.7+ million
2010 Income: $3,162,424
2010 Charitable Contributions: $81,133
Percentage of Giving**: 2.57%
Recipients of Donations: $9540 to the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception was the largest donation of 2010. Previous years' giving includes Luther College in Decorah, Iowa ($30,000) in 2009 for a scholarship fund in his name, Atlanta Ballet ($2500), American Cancer Society ($500), American Museum of Natural History ($25,000), City of Fairfax Band Association ($5000), Oliver North’s Freedom Alliance ($2500), Mount Vernon Ladies’ Association ($12,500), the Pentagon Memorial fund ($1000), Pine Mountain Gold Museum in Villa Rica, Georgia ($100)
Of Note:Various organizations that Gingrich claims to have ties with are mysteries to his staff.  Do they not exist other than on paper or is he just quiet about his giving?

Ron Paul
Net Worth*:  $2.25 million - $5 million
2010 Income: Not yet reported
2010 Charitable Contributions:  Not yet reported
Percentage of Giving** Not yet reported

Rick Santorum
Net Worth*:  $880,000 - $1.9 million
2010 Income: $930,227
2010 Charitable Contributions: $16,289
Percentage of Giving**1.75%  (2.2% over last 4 years)
Recipients of Donations: No individual charities indicated on form submitted.
Of Note:"We should be proactive in finding ways to more fully engage the American public in charitable giving," Santorum said in a 2005 statement on the CARE Act, a bill he sponsored that sought to promote the interests of charities and provide incentives for Americans to donate. Also, a charity he started called Operation Good Neighbor has been under scrutiny for only using 45% of its revenue to help those it was established to help. The remainder of this money has been used for advertising and overhead.


Now, I am not going to try to tell you who to vote for. In fact, these numbers sicken me because there are some that don't "jive" with my feelings about who should be President.

And I'll readily admit that this only captures monetary donations and not donations of time and talents. But I really can't imagine that many of these gentlemen have a lot of extra time to donate to everyone, although I could be completely wrong about that. It also could be that there are donations that are not reported. I have no idea. I'm just presenting to you what is available.

All of this is presented before you to say this: if each of these candidates are going to tell you that they want to make things better and help people and support those who are less fortunate than themselves in order to provide for a better tomorrow in America, what does the way they live their personal lives reveal about their intentions and their rhetoric?

What do you make of this?  Does this support your feelings about your preferred candidate or make you squeamish?  Does it make any difference in all in your feelings about your vote?


*Just an FYI.
**Based on annual income not the net worth shown above.
Sources: Credit Sesame, Huffington Post, Washington Post, CNN Money 

How To Potty Train a Strong Willed Child

Our older child, Patrick, was so easy to potty train. A few years later our world turned upside down with the birth of our fun-loving feisty little firecracker who we named Abigail. This child has always had her own thoughts and opinions and steel will to go along with her opinions.

We’ve been struggling with her total lack of willingness (not ability) in the potty training arena. To see her whole saga, check out this post.

Image credit: sskie

But as of today – we’re 7 days diaper free with only 1 accident. This includes all bodily functions, as well as naptime and nighttime. It also includes trips out into the world while wearing underwear. Okay – so she still wears a diaper at night (because of our fear) but she wakes up dry each morning. But we no longer have to ask her about the potty. She just does it. She tells us when she needs to go, goes to the potty, pulls down her own pants and underwear and just goes. When she’s done, she gets up, dresses herself again, and is done. No, we're not totally there, as we still have to learn to use the big potty and how to use public restrooms (I shutter at the thought of this one), but I feel the biggest hurdles have been crossed.

Some people will tell you that children should lead the way. Maybe they should but we don’t really ascribe to that. Seriously…the diaper thing works for them. They do their business without stopping what they are enjoying and then you, as the parent, scoop them up, clean up their mess, pamper their bottoms with powder, and send them off on their merry way. What have they got to lose in this?

I know you cannot force a child who is not physically ready, but also don’t underestimate their ability to learn new things and mimic what they are shown.

So many people told us to wait until our strong willed child was ready, as in, when she decided to tell us, “I’m going to start using the potty now.” If you have a strong willed child, you know that this won’t happen as long as they feel in control of their current routine. You have to push them along too.

But they are different from more passive children. You have to work around their rebellion to get to the core of things and get them to do what you want (and sometimes NEED) them to do.

So what did we do to potty train our strong willed child?

• DO offer the potty when you think they are ready. Even if they aren’t willing, it will put the idea in their mind. And you never know until you ask.
• DON’T force a child to sit on the potty. This will not make the potty or potty training pleasant for either of you.
• DO offer incentives if needed. Some children like stickers, candy, a special book or toy.
• DON’T give in to the tantrums if they want the special treat without the cooperation. And if you have a strong willed one – there will be tantrums.
• DO keep offering incentives until you find the one that works. And remember – just because it works now doesn’t mean it will work next week.
• DON’T punish a child for an accident. It happens. They are still learning and this is a whole new concept for them. Sometimes they do not realize how quickly it will be happening. Sometimes they get distracted by what they are doing and forget to tell you. And if you take two steps back – think of how hard it will be to get the process going again.
• DO have the child help clean up the accident, put their underwear away in the laundry and put on another pair themselves. Doing it for them does not instill the consequences (not punishment) of the accident.
• DON’T think that there is one method that works. Each child is different. Take all of the advice you can get and find out which of it works for you. If none of it works, it’s okay. Make up your own. There is no single solution.
• DO sing your child’s praises. Tell them how proud you are. Call friends (who understand this truimph) and relatives and let them tell him/her how awesome they are. Let them her you bragging to your friends. And whatever incentive was offered – make sure you follow through. Don’t make yourself into a liar.
• DON’T give up.

I promise, they will get it. The younger they are, they might need incentives. The older they are, you can use logic (to a 4 year old - you can’t go to the pool this summer if you aren’t potty trained so let’s start working now so you can swim this summer). You just have to find out what works for your child.

For us, it was the promise to wear a dress that was already hanging in her closet. Seriously…that’s all it took. It just took us about 8 months to figure that out.

What about you?  Have any tips you can offer those who are struggling?  Do you have a strong willed child? 

Interesting Facts About Each of America's Presidents

Okay, so let's get away from finances for just a moment. There will be a heavy-hitter post on Thursday of this week, so we'll take it easy today.

I thought to celebrate President's Day today (since I don't get off of work), we would learn one interesting fact about each of our commanders in chief.


George Washington - He didn’t have enough money to get to his own inauguration so he had to borrow $600 from his neighbor.
John Adams - Taught himself to speak Dutch. Then hopped in a boat to the Netherlands, where he borrowed money to keep America from going broke.
Thomas Jefferson - Spoke 6 different languages. On his epitaph, which he composed, it mentions that he was the author of the Declaration of Independence and the Statuette of Virginia for Religious Freedom and that he was the father of the University of Virginia. He neglected to mention he had been the President of the United States.
James Madison - At 5'4" and under 100 pounds, James Madison was our shortest and smallest President to date.
James Monroe - once chased his Secretary of State from the White House with a pair of fire tongs.
John Quincy Adams - Swam nude (weather permitting) in the Potomac River every day.
Andrew Jackson - Jackson the only president of a debt free United States.
Martin Van Buren - When he wrote his autobiography after serving as president from 1837-1841, he didn’t mention his wife of 12 years. Not even once.
William Henry Harrison - holds the record for the longest inauguration speech in history at 8,578 words long and one hour and 40 minutes. Unfortunately, he gave the speech during bad weather and a month later, he was dead from pneumonia, making his the shortest presidency on record.
John Tyler - Five years after he left the White House, he was so poor that he couldn't even pay a bill of $1.25 until after a corn harvest.
James K. Polk - At age 17 he had a gallstone surgically removed without any anesthesia or antiseptics.
Zachary Taylor - Never voted for a President
Millard Fillmore - Vice President under Zachary Taylor, but Fillmore did not meet Taylor until after they were elected. Fillmore couldn't not read Latin and refused an honorary degree from Oxford University, saying a person shouldn't accept a degree he couldn't read.
Franklin Pierce - Memorized his entire inaugural speech - 3,319 words
James Buchanan - Quietly but consistently bought slaves in Washington, D.C., and then set them free in Pennsylvania.
Abraham Lincoln - Known for a number of things, but you probably don't know that he is the only U.S. president who was also a licensed bartender. He was co-owner of Berry and Lincoln, a saloon in Springfield, Illinois
Andrew Johnson - Has was buried beneath a willow tree he planted himself with a shoot taken from a tree at Napoleon's tomb.
Ulysses S. Grant - It was so cold at this presidential inauguration that the canaries that were supposed to sing at the inaugural ball froze to death
Rutherford B. Hayes - First President to use a phone - his phone number was 1
James Garfield - Could write with both hands at the same time - in different languages
Chester A. Arthur - Arthur told a temperance group that called on him at the White House, "I may be President of the United States, but my private life is my own damn business." Arthur destroyed all of his personal papers before his death.
Grover Cleveland - While sheriff of Erie County, New York, Cleveland was also the public executioner and personally hanged two murderers.
Benjamin Harrison - An excellent extemporaneous speaker, he once made 140 completely different speeches in 30 days.
Grover Cleveland - Yep. Here he is again. Although our current guy is the 44th President, there have really only been 43. Cleveland served two terms like many before him. However, unlike the others before (or after) his terms were not consecutive, so he gets counted twice.
William McKinley - the first to ride in a self-propelled vehicle—the electric ambulance that took him to the hospital after he had been shot.
Theodore Roosevelt - Every member of Teddy Roosevelt’s family owned a pair of stilts, including the First Lady
William Howard Taft - He inaugurated the custom of the president throwing out the first ball to start the baseball season. Mrs. Taft was responsible for the planting of the Japanese cherry trees in Washington.
Woodrow Wilson -would paint his golf balls black during the winter so he could continue playing in the snow.
Warren G. Harding - Gambled away a set of White House china
Calvin Coolidge - Liked to have his head rubbed with petroleum jelly while eating his breakfast in bed. Also he would press all the buttons on the President’s desk and hide and watch his staff run in. He would then pop out from behind the door and say that he was just seeing if everyone was working.
Herbert Hoover - Spoke Chinese to his wife to keep their stories private. Also gave his White House servants strict orders to hide from him whenever he passed by. Those who failed to do so were at risk of being fired
Franklin D. Roosevelt - He was related by blood or marriage to 11 former presidents.
Harry S Truman - Read every book in his hometown library. You probably already know that he middle initial is not an initial at all - it doesn't stand for anything and therefore doesn't have a period after it.
Dwight D. Eisenhower - A skilled chef, he was famous for his vegetable soup, steaks, and cornmeal pancakes. He was the first president licensed to fly an airplane.
John F. Kennedy - Father gave him $1,000,000 when he turned twenty-one. (Each of his nine brothers and sisters got a million dollars too!)
Lyndon B. Johnson - Johnson rejected his official portrait painting, saying it was the ugliest thing he ever saw.
Richard M. Nixon - Offered a position as a player's representative to the Major League Baseball Players Association in 1965. He declined, stating that he was needed in politics.
Gerald R. Ford - Ford was the only president whose two assassination attempts against him were made by women. Ford was a model for Cosmopolitan and Look magazines in the 1940's.
James Carter - Is the first known president to go on record as seeing a UFO. Jimmy Carter is the only president to have been commander of both a nuclear submarine and a peanut farm.
Ronald Reagan - Announced Chicago Cubs games for WHO radio in Des Moines. Also loved jelly beans and used to keep a bowl of them on his desk.
George H. W. Bush - Survived 4 planes crashes during World War II
William J. Clinton - When Bill Clinton was in high school he shook hands with President John F. Kennedy in the Rose Garden
George W. Bush - Has a collection of over 250 signed baseballs
Barack Obama - He does not like ice cream as a result of working at an ice cream shop as a teenager.  Collects Spiderman and Conan the Barbarian comic books.

Source: Random Facts,  Mr. G World, Pocantico Hills, Little Known Facts, White House, & PBSKids

Do You Have a Bucket List?

Photo credit: TordDesign

You know...since the release of the movie The Bucket List, everyone has seem to be on this trend of having one of their own.

And I see people documenting their bucket lists on Pinterest frequently. 

Is it pathetic that I don't have one?

Not that I haven't sat down and written one, but that I really don't have any real plans or "want tos"? 

Until just recently, I have been pretty short sighted.  I mean, when I was little I had dreams, but since I've become an adult, it's been more about getting through the week, the month, or even the year.  My imagination sometimes ventures into the "when the kids grow up" future, but it is usually more in reference to my concerns for them, our relationships, or what I hope our financial health will be. 

I need some dreams.

And so far I have only come up with one.

I want to see the Northern Lights.  Aurora Borealis. 

Not from North Dakota (although it might be lovely from there).  Somewhere more exotic.  And since Chip's family is from Norway, I'm thinking that might be a good place to start.

Otherwise, I have no idea of things I would like to do "one day." Things that I actually have plans of crossing off a list.

Maybe it's time to make one. Want to help me out?


Do you have a bucket list?  What is on it?  What would you recommend for me?

Drumroll please.... Our Tax Results

Photo credit: LeoSynapse

So a few nights ago Chip did our taxes.

The results?  A refund.

A huge refund. 

To the tune of $4880 (I think that’s the exact amount). 

I am thrilled. 

The crazy thing is, after last year’s big refund, I changed my with-holdings at work.  Not so much that I expected we would break even but that we would receive a much smaller refund.

And yet somehow – our refund is larger this year. I totally don’t understand tax law.

So what will we do with this lump sum?

We have two options.  I originally had one thing in mind because it would make the most sense mathematically and it would give me the best feeling emotionally.  Sounds like the way to go, right?   This option would be to send the entire (almost) $5K to my credit card – you know, the one that I despise so much and am ready to kill the account as soon as it is paid off.  That would give me the most emotional payback and it would decrease the debt on the larger interest loan.  This seemed like the way to go at first.

But the other option is almost as good and gives a sense of completion and gives us one less thing to worry about.  This would be to send almost $3900 to a “loan” that we had from the Army from when Chip was prepaid to finish OCS and came home early. So we owe the Army that money back.  They aren’t charging us interest, so it seems like it would be good to pay this one off more slowly than the one with interest. Two things about that though – if we did this, we could completely cross this debt off our list and shorten the list; and the Army is deducting repayments at their own rate out of his paychecks.  It’s been going fine so far to do that, but when he goes for his long-term training in a few months (or whenever he goes – they haven’t told us yet), I won’t know how much of his check we’ll be receiving until it arrives and that makes planning difficult. And for this control freak, that’s just one more uncertainty I would like to avoid.

All in all, it will pay off debt.  All of it.  But how?  That is yet to be determined.

What about you?  Are you getting or anticipating a refund?  If so, what do you plan to do with it?

Please stay tuned....

Sorry I've been a bit out of pocket lately.  The weekend was crazy as I made a whirlwind trip to Alabama and back for a funeral.

I promise things will look a bit more normal around here soon.  I'm just trying to play catch-up in life and at work, so the blog is suffering.

Be back soon!

8 Smart Ways to Spend Your Tax Refund

Photo credit: LeoSynapse

Yep - it's that time of year. Some people are itching to do their taxes, wanting the refund they deserve. Others are more cautious, either not knowing the outcome of their tax form calculations, or knowing they will be sending a check to the beloved IRS.

Some people will argue the ins and outs of whether you should try to get a refund each year or try to balance it as to not loan the government money interest free.

I get it. But we're not going to have that argument here and now. Right now we're just going to discuss what to do with the money that some of us will be getting back (I will!).

1. Start or Bolster an Emergency Fund:  If you don't have any type of emergency fund, this should be the first step you take with this money.  How much to put into your beginning emergency fund is up to you.  I am a follower of Dave Ramsey's teachings, so I'd say $1000 if you have debt (to cover  small emergencies) or 4-6 months of spending if you have no debt.  This would be a great place to use this windfall. 
2. Pay Down Debt:  If you are covered on the beginning emergency fund, throw that bad boy at your debt. It's a great way to make a big stride in paying down debt. There's nothing like seeing a much smaller balance after that check is sent. Successes like this one can motivate you on for months more.
3. Save for Retirement:  What a great way to go ahead and toss some money at your Roth IRA.  You might be able to cover all of your annual contribution allowance if your refund is enough. What a peace of mind this would give you to already have this covered!
4. Children's Education: Look into socking this away into an education fund for your children.  There are a number of different way to do this and since I'm not a financial advisor, I will not tell you the best way to do it.  There are plenty of people out there that can help you though, and this is a conversation worth having. 
5. Fund a Purchase: If you've been fighting the uphill battle of debt or if you've been looking for a way to live on cash alone, this money might be just what you need to afford something you've been hoping for. Whether it is a good used car that will allow you to get out from under a new car payment (and the accompanying new car insurance) or some furniture that your house actually needs, using cash will not only give you the freedom of paying without credit card interest, but you might likely be able to swing a better deal if you can pay cash upfront!
6. Donate it:  If you are blessed enough to not have anywhere in particular that you need to put this, why not bless someone else with it?  Give it to your favorite local charity or sponsor someone on a mission trip.  Not only will you have the joy of helping someone else with this money, but you'll be able to count it as a deduction next year!
7. Go on a Mission Trip Yourself: If you have the drive to help others but can't typically shell out the money needed for a trip, use your tax refund and sign up through your church for a trip to - well, wherever they are going. You will get some hands-on experience of serving others, but you might just change a life or two (including your own!). 
8. Splurge: This is the last way you could spend your money, but ONLY if you are in a good place in all of the above items. I don't mean that you feel okay about spending when you have debt.  I mean you have no debt, you have a full emergency fund, you live within your means, you have nothing that needs to be purchased with cash and you feel good about your giving.  Then - and only then - should you buy that next larger TV, or that new laptop, or that family vacation.  Yep - make sure you are financially secure before splurging.  But once you are, SPEND AWAY!  It's your money! =) 

What will you be doing with your tax refund?  Are you having to pay in instead? 

Our Harry Potter Party - Treats from Honeydukes

This is the last post in our Harry Potter birthday party series.  I hope you've enjoyed it almost as much as I have enjoyed sharing it with you.  Check out the previous post here. 

You know what I dislike about birthday parties?  Treat bags.  I know, they are a nice gesture, but too often they are just that - a gesture.  Filled with plastic crap that is themed with the party, most of it goes in the trash can as soon as we get home. I hate to be that honest, but it is true - at least at our house.

I was convinced that I did not want that for our kids' goody bags.  I try to buy things that will not be discarded immediately and continued that theme with this party as well.

I decided that only a few items would be in the goody bags to start out with, but the kids could "shop" at Honeydukes sweet shop at the end of the party and load their goody bags up with candy and treats to take home (you're welcome, parents). It was a fun way to wrap up the theme without buying licensed HP stuff that would be tossed soon.

Although my intentions were to make these goody bags (once again, thanks Pinterest), it didn't happen. I did think they were an awesome idea and not terribly hard to do, so I wanted to share them with you!

Instead, I just gave them the brown paper bags and let them shop.  The bags only had a couple of items already in them, but those items I do want to share with you.

I found inexpensive HP glasses here for far cheaper than anywhere else! They took a little while to ship, but well worth the cost of since most of the others I found were $5 a piece!

I also put in some other random (child-appropriate) pins that I got from skycouture (who also made the house pins the kids were wearing).  Unfortunately while writing this post I discovered that she is no longer a etsy shop owner. So if I were you, I would search on etsy because there are several others who make these types of pins and most etsians are great people and easy to work with.

I ordered some HP-ish soaps from an etsian who is no longer on etsy, but look around, as there are many great soap makers on there. I chose a mix of owls, brooms, wizard hats, and frogs. What fun - and they're practical too.

And for those who wanted them - dark mark tattoos.  I couldn't resist.

Other than these items, the bags were to be filled by the kids by visiting Honeydukes (sign available for your use here).  Their choices of treats were

• Giant Lollipops (from Dollar Tree)
• Chocolate Frogs (mold here)
• Licorice Wands (dip the ends of Twizzlers in white chocolate to make a "handle")
• Lemon Drops (Dumbledore's favorite Muggle candy)
• Fudge Flies (mix rice krispies and melted chocolate. Spread on wax paper to dry in tiny/bite-sized pieces)
• Drooble's Best Blowing Gum (gumballs)
• Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans (I just used jelly beans, but you can order the real thing from JellyBelly here)
• Acid Pops (roll sour blow pops in pop rocks - do it just before serving or the rocks will lose their "pop")
• Peppermint Toads (same mold as chocolate frogs but use white chocolate or vanilla and peppermint extract)
• Jelly Slugs (gummy worms)
• Cockroach clusters (melt chocolate, chow mein noodles and peanuts and drop onto wax paper)
• Broomstick Candy
• Considered Pretzel Wands (same as licorice wands but with pretzel sticks) but didn't do it. 

I made tent cards (download here) with each candy's name on it to let people know what they were shopping for. Using a variety of glass jars (some borrowed and some purchased), Honeydukes was established.

They were then allowed to shop to their own desires. The kids thought the names were disgusting and that was a lot of fun for them (especially the boys!). 

And that was that.  End of party. All exhausted. So much fun.

I hope I can live up to this one next year!

If you want some more ideas, I have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to Harry Potter party ideas. Some I used and some I didn't but you might find something PERFECT for yours!

Our Harry Potter Party - Games

We're almost done with our Harry Potter party series (see previous post here), but we do need to discuss the games that were played. It was a lot of fun.

I intended on having a game of Stomp the Dementors (scroll down to games - you'll probably see lots of other great ideas here), which would have been a way for the kids to run about and let off some of that sugared-up energy, but leading up to the party I ran out of time and didn't have time to create the dementors.

So we just let them run about like crazy little creatures and play with their wands for a little while.  This was a lot of fun for them and a great way to just let them be as creative as they want.

Beware a tiny one with a wand!

After that, we had a Horcrux Hunt.  This was my second most proud moment of creativity for this party (following the Potions class).  A basic scavenger hunt, I wanted to create a Horcrux hunt that would look for the items as the story unfolded.  We were looking for the diary, a ring, a locket, a cup, a diadem (or crown), a lightning bolt, and a snake.

Of course I found a few suggestions for wording for the scavenger hunt, but I'm terribly picky and wanted the hunt to not only make sense in our yard and where I could hide the items, but I wanted it to tell the story of the Horcruxes without giving away any/many spoilers.  So I set my pen to paper and wrote some poetic clues.  In the end, I was quite proud of them.

Here is the wording I came up with.



Voldemort first tempted a girl named Ginny
With his own diary, its mysteries were many.
To find out its secrets, its key to unlock,
You can look in a place where you would sit and rock.

The next one was found by old Dumbledore.
It poisoned his hand when this ring he wore.
But how to destroy it? One of the unknowns.
Now go find Gaunt’s Ring among the stones.

Another – a locket – guarded by a house elf,
Who was true to his master in spite of himself.
It got passed around by two or three.
Slytherin’s locket is hiding up in a tree.

Three friends found the next one inside a bank vault.
They made a huge mess, but it wasn’t their fault.
Getting help from a dragon, they fell on their tushes.
Helga Hufflepuff’s cup shines inside our front bushes.

The lost diadem is quite a lovely crown.
Trying to find and destroy it almost burned the school down.
In a giant pile of stuff it nearly was buried,
But you’ll find it in a place where our mail is carried.

The next horcrux made was the Dark Lord’s mistake.
Harry faced trading his life for its sake.
He meets up with Voldemort, the tension grows.
Go find a lightning bolt stored with our hose.

To end this great hunt a snake had to die.
A new hero rose, courage shone in his eye.
Could this be real? Would peace be restored?
Go find Nagini taped to the front door.

The hunt is now over. The seeking is done.
All horcruxes are found, I hope you had fun.
One more activity and the party is complete.
Go inside the house and “shop” for some sweets.

You can print this out for yourself here, but unless you have the same places to hide them that I did, I don't know if it will help you much.

As each Horcrux was found, I would read the next clue while everyone looked for it at the same time.  It wasn't a competition and anyone could find them.  It was just fun for them to look.

Found the diadem in the mailbox!

While the Horcrux Hunt was going on, I had my house elves spouse and friends inside setting up Honeydukes for a shopping extravaganza. Come back tomorrow to check that out!

If you want some more ideas, I have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to Harry Potter party ideas. Some I used and some I didn't but you might find something PERFECT for yours!

Our Harry Potter Party - Food

This is a continuation of the Harry Potter birthday series.  See the previous post here. 

So after sorting, wands, owls, and potions, it was time to eat.

For the cake, I considered a number of things, which you can find on my Pinterest board.

In the end, we went with the cake that would duplicate the first one Hagrid gave Harry when he turned 11 and learned he was a wizard.  It was a chocolate cake with chocolate icing and "Happee Birthdae Patrick" written on it (to duplicate Hagrid's spelling). The great thing is, the cake was terribly ugly in the movie so your piping (or icing) skills don't have to be great! Score!

I'm rather sad that I didn't get a good picture of the cake, but here is an idea.

In addition to cake, we had some standard goodies - cake truffles (which I love), chips, fruit, and the like.

I did provide Butterbeer sorbet that was interesting and surprisingly tasty for those daring enough to try it (yes, it is kid friendly).

A bit hit with the kids was the drinks.  I provided water, Sprite, Capri Sun (which are mostly clear or light colored), and White Grape juice.  Using the fun I found on Pinterest (where else?), we had amazing color-changing drinks. Of course not an option if you have someone who can't have food coloring, but otherwise, it will blow the kids' minds!

Then it was time to run off some of that sugar! Outside we went!

If you want some more ideas, I have an entire Pinterest board dedicated to Harry Potter party ideas. Some I used and some I didn't but you might find something PERFECT for yours!  Get the details about the games we played here!.