|Photo Credit: pepo|
However, there are times when I frankly just feel judged. You know, you read the post and something just jabs at you. And then you read the comments and find everyone agreeing with the writer and no one offering any differing opinions. Is it because I'm just that wrong (I don't think so)? Is it because this blog only captures a certain audience (mostly, but not entirely)? Does this writer moderate and delete the comments of those who differ from her (I don't think so)?
This is one instance that I just have to share. I have to write my point of view. I have to state my case (even to those of you who aren't part of that same audience).
The writer of that blog wrote:
It is impossible to have a full-time career, a solid marriage, secure and godly children, and a well-run home with nutritious food. Nobody is superhuman.
While I will nod in vehement agreement that no one is superhuman, I felt slapped in the face. You see, I have a full time career...and because of that, I'm obviously lacking in one of the other categories because it is impossible based on her opinions (which so many agree with in the comments) that I could do all of those things well. Forget that she has never met my husband, my children or seen my house or our refrigerator and pantry.
I will not claim to be superwoman, but as I state in the comment section:
...I am a full-time working engineer. I have a solid marriage with a man who loves me and respects me. My children love God and love learning about God. Their father and I are far from perfect, but we strive daily to show them how to seek God and love others as we are commanded to do. My home is well run - the bills are paid on time every time; the house is clean; there is currently one load of laundry waiting on me; there is a fully stocked fridge of fresh and healthy food as well as some treats that may not be healthy but are also not altogether terrible - and those are limited in their consumption. The beds are made, the kids' chores are done, everyone is dressed, their homework is finished, we attend church services and functions at most every chance, and our children are also involved in extracurriculars. Additionally, we are not raising children who are materialistic. They are generous and loving. They are giving and fun. There is plenty of family time spent absent from technology. There are lots of cuddles to go around. There is plenty of husband-wife time. There is even room left for me to have a bubble bath with a good book at the end of the day.
So - although I am not perfect; my family is not perfect either - we're quite put together. We get our stuff done. We serve the Lord. And to say that this is not possible because I work away from the home, is quite a far reach from reality.
I understand, and honestly agree, that no one will raise my children like I will. I agree that time is the best thing I can give my children. I believe that it is mainly my responsibility to maintain our household (not that I do the work, but make sure it is done).
But I want to point out something that a huge trend of Christian women are missing these days, I believe. You know the Proverbs 31 woman that everyone quotes? You know, she cooks and sews and gives and volunteers and raises godly children all while pleasing her husband? Read between those lines. You know what else she does? She buys a field with her earnings (verse 16), she trades (verse 18), and she sells items she has made (verse 24). She is a business woman. Yes...she is at home much of the time. But is this what the writer of the proverb is praising? Could it be that she is at home doing these things because it was socially unacceptable for women to work or be formally educated? It appears that she is working hard and earning her own money to care for her family. Notice again...the field is bought "with her earnings" (again - she has earnings, people).
It actually never says that she stays home and cares for her children. She might have to hand them off to a relative to do all of this work and these business dealings - at least some of the time that would seem feasible.
It simply says that she does whatever she can to take care of her family.
So why is it that working outside the home is thought of as "lesser" in some Christian women's circles? The Proverbs 31 woman did it...at least some of the time. There is no way she did all of that from home.
So if you want to stay at home and raise your children, I say good for you. More power to you. I'm so excited that you have that option in your life. On some days, I wish it were me as well.
But if you can't stay at home...or just don't want to...I think that is certainly your decision to make as well as long as you talk it through with God. Just like I have. I think as long as you are doing everything you can to make sure that your children are being taken care of by people who have similar values as you and that you are making sure there is food on the table for everyone to eat...you also are a Proverbs 31 woman. You are not selfish...no matter what some corners of society tell you.
You are taking care of yours.
Good for you. Carry on and be at peace with God.